The Curious Urinal Friday 9/24/2010

The Curious Urinal Interview - Dewaine Shoulders

By Staff Reporter Juan Motyme

It's been a hectic week for the publisher of The Curious Urinal. With endorsements from celebrities and other endorsement deals to promote various businesses, Dewaine Shoulders has been busy.

CU: Hey boss, thanks for sitting down with me today.

DS: No problem, but can we make this kinda fast? I have stuff to do today.

CU: Sure. Okay, let's start with the biggie! Kelsey Grammer via the Right Network posted a YouTube Video about you. How did that make you feel?

DS: I was stoked, actually. And ever since then, things have been crazy.

CU: Tell the readers what's been happening.

DS: Well, first of all, I was offered my own reality show, called: Dewaine Shoulders - A Legend in his Own Mind! And then there was the record company executive that offered me a multi-CD deal for my talents as a rapper.

CU: That's cool!

DS: The problem is I have no clue how to rap! So, I told him that I'd think about that one.

CU: What else?

DS: Schitts Beer offered me an endorsement deal. I drink their beer and they charge me half-price so they can run the ads featuring me drinking their beer. And then Tres Equis made me an offer for a one-time commercial ad featuring moi. And they will only charge me half-price for the beer, too!

CU: Are you going to do those?

DS: Half-price beer? You betcha!

CU: And what about the rumor that's been going around here at the Curious Urinal?

DS: Which one?

CU: There's more than one?

DS: There's two different rumors.

CU: I'm referring to the movie deal.

DS: Oh, that one. Well, it seems Stinky, the Feces-throwing Monkey has penned a new movie that he thinks I'd be perfect to co-star in it.

CU: Does the movie have a title yet?

DS: Stinky and the Bandit 2.

CU: What's the plot?

DS: From what he told me, we'd be riding an elephant cross-country to get banana smoothies for some concert in Georgia.

CU: Hmm? That's a pretty thin plot.

DS: Well, he's still working on it, so I told him I'd consider the role.

CU: So what's the other rumor?

DS: That I will be a judge on American Idol next year. Honestly, I don't know how that one got started, but it's totally false.

CU: So, what will you be doing in the meantime, especially now that your celebrity is on the rise?

DS: Well, I may be doing my own show on the Phobia Channel soon.

CU: Really?

DS: Yeah. I have been in secret negotiations with the head programmer at the Phobia Channel to do a talk show called: Dewaine Shoulders -A Mind is a Terrible Thing!

CU: That should be great!

DS: But I really don't want people to think that all of this success is going to my head. I'm still the guy that everyone knows and loves. Nothing has changed that. I'm still that simple guy that values all things humble!

CU: Yes, you are a great guy to work for, and I know that everyone thinks very kindly of you.

DS: Well, Juan, I need to go. Drew Berrymore is waiting out in the limo, and I'm not going to keep her waiting... Too long, that is!

CU: Okay, thanks for the interview, boss!

DS: Oh, before I forget it, I do have a new show starting Tuesday called 'The One Mans Opinion Hour' on Palin Promotions Blogcast.

CU: Cool! I'll have to check that one out. What time?

DS: It's at seven p.m. EST, six Central and four Pacific!

CU: Got it!

Note: This is the video that started it all -