The Curious Urinal - Friday 5/11/2012

By popular demand, we here at The Curious Urinal are proud (well, proud may not be the correct word to use here in this instance--- More like almost embarrassed, but forced to do this because of contractual concerns) to bring you...

PRODUCTS FROM
AROUND THE WORLD

Caution: The following products are from other parts of the world, and some of the names can be confused with Americam slang for bodily functions, slurs, ect. This is for humor only, and is not intended to rile you up, get your panties in a wad, and otherwise Pissing you off. If your skin is so thin that you can read a newspaper thru it in a dark room, then you may want to avoid this edition like the plague... Just saying. The Editor


In an age where so many products are loaded with artificial ingredients and preservatives, there is only one product so full of natural ingredients that it’s hard to resist! It’s Fresh!













That’s right Fresh Cok Milk! Made from the finest Cok, Fresh Cok Milk is the answer to your organic dietary needs. Fresh Cok Milk is loaded with vitamins, all natural proteins and sugars that will keep your mouth happy! Fresh Cok Milk comes in quarts for your pleasure. Don’t jerk around...
Try Fresh Cok Milk today!

*****

Are you looking for a snack that's good for you?

Then you need to get some Megapussi! The bite-sized snacks that taste like chicken, but smells like tuna. They're wholesome, delicious and lip-licking good! It comes in a convenient box. Megapussi is the official snack food of The NBA, MLB, NFL and the Ladies PGA.
Megapussi... The name says it all!

*****

When Mr. Brain’s went to San Francisco and asked men what they wanted in a ready to eat meal, most men agreed....










They wanted two Pork Faggots! And Mr. Brain said, "Why have just two when you can have four!" Pork Faggots also come in a traditional Western sauce. It’s thick and creamy, with a hint of salt and sugar for a taste that everyone can swallow down! But what makes Pork Faggots absolutely fabulous is the sauce is whipped up daily, so it’s always fresh!
Pork Faggots... Try some for lunch or dinner, or even for a bedtime snack. Pork Faggots... They're not hard to find. Just bend over into the meat case and grab yourself some today!

*****

When you need a toilet paper that is strong, yet soft, look no further than
My Fannie!











The extra-wide toilet tissue for those big wipers. My Fannie feels so good! And in many decorator styles, My Fannie looks good too! Better than the ordinary wipes, My Fannie takes all you can dish out and still is ready for more. So next time you need something better than ordinary toilet paper, think of My Fannie! It wipes-out the rest!

*****

When your thirst just can’t be quenched by regular colas, there’s only one that taste as good as it looks.
               












Pee Cola... With no artificial colors or flavors, Pee Cola is the only logical choice. If you’re a whiz, then you already know that Pee Cola is bottled at the peak of freshness for that one-of-a-kind flavor. Its all natural taste is best when drank at room temperature. Hot Pee Cola is good for you, but Cold Pee Cola can hit the spot too! Don’t piss away your money on other carbonated drinks. Don’t piddle around with those other colas. Relieve yourself today... Have a Pee Cola!  It tastes as good as its name!

*****

Got a party tonight and need something that will keep it pumping? Or are you sitting around, watching a movie and need a snack that will keep you feeling good? Then you need to find some Happy Crak!









Happy Crak Popcorn will always be the hit of any party. There’s nothing like a Happy Crak to put a smile on your face, or the faces of all of your friends... Even if they get sloppy seconds. Happy Crak Popcorn comes in convenient 12-ounce bags. And there's no need to microwave it. Just work it in your hands and soon your Happy Crak is hot and ready! So pop a little Happy Crak in your mouth and let the party begin!

*****

There are beers, and then there's the beer that tastes as good as you’d expect from a Lager. A beer that will go down smooth and easy, and leaving a nice smile on your face. It may smell like the ass of a bear, but it taste goooood! And if you pour it right, you’ll get good head! What is it?














It’s Vergina Premium Lager. Vergina... Always tastes as good as it looks!

*****

After a hard day of exercising, wouldn’t it we nice to replenish those bodily fluids you lose? You don't want a sports drink that will dog you later? You want a sports drink that’s both all natural and completely free of wimpy names that try to make you feel important for drinking it? Then you need to try the latest product from Pet...










New Pet Sweat! Yes, Pet Sweat will quench that thirst like nothing else. Pet Sweat will replenish those lost fluids like nature intended. Don’t get into a lather after a bit of exertion. Don't settle for imitations; Drink Pet Sweat! The official drink of the ASPCA and PETA!

*****

There are toilet papers out there that claim to be soft, absorbent and good for the environment.

But no toilet tissue even comes close to our Pillow-soft, 100% recycled - ShitBegone!
ShitBegone...The name say’s it all!

*****

Royco presents the next generation of Japanese cuisine.













When you need to fix it fast and hot and you need it now, there is only one choice to make... New and Improved Shito Mix! Made with the finest Shit and O! You'll have a big Shito-eating Grin... Again and again. Shito Mix, made with all natural ingredients, including corn chunks.
Shito Mix... Now you can tell everyone to eat Shito!

*****

And finally,

There are times when you need an insect repellent, and other times when you need a great lubricant. Now, you can have both!






Announcing New Wack-Off! It’s Tropical Strength! Used by the Armed Forces when out in the remote jungles, Wack-Off provides you with a proven insect repellent during the day, and doubles as a great lubricant for those lonely nights hanging out in the jungle.
Wack-Off... Wrap your hands around some today!

This Edition of The Curious Urinal has been brought to you by:

Dingleberry Wine

Dingleberry Wine comes in four great flavors: Cherry, Blueberry, Flaming Berry and Chocolate Fudge! When you think wine, think Dingleberry Wine! The wine of the non-discriminatory drinker. And at a price any wino can afford! Dingleberry Wine... Squeezed from only the freshest Dingleberries picked daily from our factory in Buzzardbait, KY. Remember, if it's ain't Dingleberry Wine, it ain't Schitt! Dingleberry Wine Inc. Buzzardbait, KY.

Disclaimer:

The consumption of Dingleberry Wine has been proven to make one drunk after three or four bottles. Also, the aftertaste of Dingleberry Wine had been compared to that of a diseased Yak's ass! Dingleberry Wine contains one or more of the following. Aspartame, Sodium Vibrofoam, Benzoate, Corpsedia, Phenylketonurics, Small undigested pieces of meat, Wads of used toilet tissue, Corn Chunks and Artificial Coloring and Flavoring.

The consumption of Dingleberry Wine can be hazardous to you health.

The following can and probably will occur. Blurred vision, Erratic behavior, Memory loss, Hallucinations, Projectile vomiting, Explosive diarrhea, Loss of motor functions, Convulsions, Complete and sudden death, Blood in the stool, on the couch and the recliner, along with a trail wherever you've walked, and Hairy Tongue Syndrome.

Not to mention a real shitty taste in your mouth after drinking.

Never drink or drive - unless you just really have to do it, in which case, call your local hospital to have an ER standing by on your behalf.
Remember drink responsibly and never, ever, no matter what anyone else tells you, stop drinking Dingleberry Wine!