Special Late Night Edition
Massive Solar Eruption Largest Ever?
By Staff Reporter Juan Motyme
On March 7th, a massive flare exploded from the solar surface, unleashing the highest-energy light ever seen during a sun eruption, scientists say.
Our Mr. Sun let loose a massive solar flare, an X5.4, during its biggest outburst in 5 years, according to Dr. Banner of the Gamma Ray Center.
Of course, many are worried due to the massive output of Gamma rays, but Dr. Banner, pictured below, says there is no real concern that it will cause any undue effects here on Earth.
"The sun is usually not a very bright source in gamma rays," said Dr. Banner. "We don't detect the sun on a daily basis. Especially when it's night. On the other hand, on March 7, the sky looked completely different. It was bright, kinda like day, and it was freakin' awesome!"
And in Sporting News
Buzzardbait's AAAAAAAA baseball team, The Fighting Woodchucks, sound more like the Whining Woodchucks after the rest of their 2012 season was cancelled due to lack of interest.
Owner and coach, Gotum "Woody" Johnson, says that the remainder of the 2012 season has been cancelled due to the lack of fans at the games. "Last season, we sold at least 20 tickets per game, making just enough money on beer sales to pay the players. But this year, the players outnumber the fans 3 to 1!"
Perhaps it has something to do with the rise in beer prices from 25 cents to $4.50 that keeps the fans away.
One former fan lamented, "Last season, no matter how badly the Woodchucks played, you could count on cheap beer to get you through the game, but now they went and jacked the price up so high that people can't afford to get drunk while the team sucks on the field."
True, the Woodchucks have an 0 - 25 record, but it's not all their fault. Mostly the teams they have been playing are made up on very good players and most are younger too, which makes a difference. The last home game, the Dragons of Hooter Heights Elementary School clobbered the Woodchucks, 23-0, and that was the least scoring any team made against the Woodchucks all season. The highest scoring game, 117-1, was called due to darkness after the Poon Point Pandas scored the impressive 117 in the first inning.
So, the Woodchucks season will be shortened considerably this year, but undaunted, Coach Johnson says. "Maybe next year, we can get momentum going and draw the fans back to the park. Otherwise, I'm gonna lose my ass and have to find a real job!"
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