The Curious Urinal: 4/24/11

Friday, April 29, 2011

But something told me that she was not in the mood to be interviewed. She had arrived with a half-drank beer - in the long neck bottle - and a freshly-lit cigarette gripped between her frowning lips.

CU: Thank you for sitting down withs us today.

KC: Whatever. Come on, let's get this sh*t over with.

CU: Ms. Couric, or can I call you Katie?

KC: Look, I don't care what you f***in' call me, just hurry the f**k up about it.

CU: Fine then. Ms. Couric, after five years doing the CBS News, you failed to bring the ratings up and...

KC: (A quick swig from the bottle of beer and then replacing the cigarette between her lips) Look, CBS can suck my a*s. They couldn't do anything right. They wouldn't let me do the things I wanted to do. They wanted me to do what they wanted me to do. So it's their fault that the ratings never f**kin' went up!

CU: But it's fair to say that you earned a great deal of money from CBS... $15 million a year to be exact, and...

KC: And I earned every f**kin' dime of it, scumwad! (She guzzled down the remaining beer in the bottle and tossed it aside. She took a drag off her cigarette then flicked it toward the wall) And if anyone says different, then they are a lying sack of sh*t!

CU: Ms. Couric, if I didn't know better, I'd say your a bit bitter about the whole ordeal.

KC: Bitter? I'm not f**kin' bitter! I'm f**kin' pissed off. I wasted five f**kin' years at CBS doing the schlock news when I could have been back at the f**kin' Today Show, having fun and not having to do f**kin' stupid interviews with people like you!

CU: Why? Because you get asked questions you don't wish to answer?

KC: I can answer f**kin' questions, dipsh*t. It's dealing with you lowlifes in the right-wing media that I f**kin' hate! All of you conservatives make me f**kin' sick. I think they should shoot every f**kin' one of you and then pi*s on your carcass. You always ask the stupid questions instead of throwing the softball questions we on the left ask.

CU: I see. Well, I can ask softball questions if you'd like. Let's see... What newspapers do you read?

KC: F**k you!

With that, Katie Couric stood, walked into a wall and cursed. She found the door and walked out.

On a personal note, I say good riddance, Ms. Couric.