The Curious Urinal - 11-26-14 - Early Morning Edition
Buzzardbaitapalooza coming to town on Thanksgiving Night.
By staff Reporter Nemo Cash
Once you've had your turkey and dressing, a heaping helping of mashed potatoes, and a slice of Tobacco-flavored cumquat pie, why not mosey on down to the Strike and Suds for some 9-Pin Tap and some great music.
Last year, nearly 60 people crammed into the Strike and Suds Lounge for the show. This year, the owner - Herman Horchucker - has promised that more chairs will be added in order to help those folks who have one too many beers to rest and enjoy the show. And this year, splatter-proof vomit bags will be passed out. It took three days of cleaning to get rid of the regurgitated beer and pork rinds from last year's show. Also, a case of air freshener was used to squelch the pungent aroma. This year, the lounge will pass out the vomit bags in order to keep from repeating that nightmare scenario.
Buzzardbaitapalooza is back, and this year on Thanksgiving Night. The musical lineup is only surpassed by the beer prices.
Slated to appear this year are returning favorites and local acts--- one that had gone into semi-retirement.
First up is Tarnished Plastic - The quintessential 70's acid rock band had the super hit, 'Pickin' The Fuzz from Betwitched My Toes Over You.' They never topped that success, and rightly so.
Also, the heavy metal band, Peter Pimple and The Zits are returning after a line-up change. Peter Pimple, the lead singer, and Too-Small Johnny, the bassist, are the last surviving members of the once notable band. Last year, while performing at the Squeaky Springs Nursing Home's annual Rockin' Bedpan Days, three of the original members took some bad Geritol and ended up dead in their motel room. But Peter Pimple and The Zits lives on with new members, Drummer Mickey Glickman, Guitarist Dusty Schickengruber, and Keyboardist Tommy 'Three Fingers' Tomason. All three were formally members of 'Boogers on Toast in a Prune Sauce,' the San Francisco acid rock band known for their high-energy stage show. Now in their late fifties, they bring the energy of someone twice their age to the stage. Considering Peter Pimple is now in his late 70's, they will add much to the show.
Sami Shagnasty and The Naked Molecats, fresh out of semi-retirement, are promoting their new CD, 'Oh La Oui, I Gotta Go Pee.' Sami Shagnasty, who nearly suffered a career-ending injury to her left ear lobe in a tragic blender accident, is back singing almost as good as she ever has, which compared to most singers currently on the road isn't that great. But she never disappoints the crowd when she has a wardrobe malfunction and her size 66 JJJ breasts come bouncing out. Much of the time now, they don't bounce out as much as they flop straight to the floor, but it still drives the crowd crazy.
Mangled Baby Ducks, who were nearly driven into poverty by their tour bus, have returned to the road. The members of the 1980's punk rock band are still as controversial as ever. Last month, drummer Keith 'Bones' Meloney, was charged with aggravated assault on a mannequin in a Milwaukee Sheets and Shit. On probation, Meloney promised the court that he would not assault any mannequin's while on tour, which did away with much of their stageshow.
Fester Bestertester and His All Tuba Band are making their first appearance in Buzzardbait. A 14-piece tuba band isn't all that impressive an act, but they were willing to work for gas money and free beer.
And speaking of Beer, Schitt's Brewery is once again the major sponsor of Buzzardbaitapalooza . The other sponsor, Dingleberry Wine, will bring out the night's headliner.
Buzzardbait's own, Milo Days, will once again headline the show, playing his brand of blues. Last year, if you'll recall, Milo Days drank so much Dingleberry Wine that he had to be carried off the stage by paramedics.
This year, Milo promises he'll be in better shape and perform a full 45 minutes before passing out, unlike the 22 minutes he barely managed last year.
Tickets are on sale now. $7.50 in advance, $5.50 day of show.
So, if you want to hear some great music, or bowl and drink beer, Make your way to the Strike and Suds Thanksgiving night for Buzzardbaitapalooza. The Bowling Alley is conveniently located at 5th and Main in Beautiful Downtown Buzzardbait, next to Greasy Louie's House of Mostly Pancakes.
This edition of The Curious Urinal was brought to you by the following sponsor:
