By staff Reporter Juan Motyme
Royal Wedding advice from Buzzardbait.
It's been almost 30 years since the last Royal wedding. Prince Charles' and Princess Diana's elaborate and much-watched nuptials were the talk of the world. Next weekend, Charles and Diana's first-born son, William, will be tying the knot. On April 29, the prince and his girlfriend of several years, Kate Middleton, will marry in front of a world audience. So, staff reporter Juan Motyme went to talk with residents of Buzzardbait about the upcoming wedding, and what advice they could give the soon-to-be royal couple.
Bizbee Fartknocker of Poon Point said, "First thing I'd tell that William feller is always make sure and take your work boots off before you go inside the house. I have done that for 30 years now, and the old lady never complains about me tracking mud or manure on her nice clean floors."
Bonnie Bunnfluffer of Hooter Heights says, "Tell that Kate woman that if that husband of hers ever gives her trouble, don't go to bed mad. Wait till he goes to sleep, then sneak out of the house, go down to the bar and find your boyfriend. He can always make you feel good."
Billy Bunnfluffer of Hooter Heights added, "Yeah, William, let Kate sneak out of the house. Then go next door to her sister's house and have yourself a ball!"
Bonnie and Billy left arguing about their advice.
Freddie Fudgepacker of Buzzardbait, along with several of his friends, suggested. "William, girlfriend, don't marry that woman. Find yourself a nice man and... Well, me and the boys here would love to show you how to have true happiness."
The friends all nodded and waddled away.
Mary Pitchfork of Buzzardbait offered a unique point of view. "So, if they are gonna be married, will that make William the new Queen?"
I had to remind her that William would one day become King. where Mary replied, "Noooooo. There ain't no King but Elvis!"
