In an exclusive interview with The Curious Urinal, Mel Gibson sits down with us to explain about his troubles with ex-girlfriend Oksasa Grigorieva.
Warning, some details of this interview are not intended for children under the age of 18!
CU: Thanks for sitting down with us today, Mr, Gibson.
MG: No problem. Always happy to speak to my fans.
CU: Let's get straight to it. Pertaining to your recent problems with you ex-girlfriend, you have been recorded saying some rather hateful things. At one point calling Ms. Grigorieva a “Las Vegas whore that looked like a bunch of (explicative) could gang rape her.” First of all, are these allegations true? If so, why would you say such things?
MG: I thought this interview was going to be about my career! You (explicative)! Where the (explicative) do come off (explicative) asking me such a dumb (explicative) question? What the (explicative) did I (explicative) do to you? Are you a (explicative) dumb (explicative)? I could snap your (explicative) neck like a (explicative) toothpick, you fat little (explicative) (explicative)(explicative)!
CU: But I thought that if you could calmly enlighten the readers...
MG: I've got your (explicative) calmly (explicative) (explicative) (explicative) (explicative) right here, mother (explicative)! You little (explicative)! I'll bust your (explicative) head open like a (explicative) water (explicative) melon!
CU: Mr. Gibson, details of the case have been leaked, including the recording of you saying these awful things. We at the Curious Urinal simply want to allow you to set the record straight.
MG: The Curious (explicative) Urinal can kiss my (explicative) (explicative)! What kind of a (explicative) (explicative) (explicative) (explicative) (explicative) (explicative) piece of (explicative) name is that for a (explicative) newspaper?
CU: Mr. Gibson...
MG: (explicative) (explicative) (explicative) (explicative) (explicative) (explicative)! And furthermore, (explicative) (explicative) (explicative) (explicative) (explicative) (explicative) and the horse you rode in on! (explicative) (explicative) (explicative) (explicative) (explicative) (explicative)!
With that, he punched me in the nose and walked off. Then he came back and said,
MG: And something else! (explicative) (explicative) (explicative) (explicative) (explicative) (explicative) you!
And with that, he stormed out of the room.
And now for something completely different...
Facts about the 1500s:
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, Don't throw the baby out with the bath water.
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying: It's raining cats and dogs.
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, Dirt poor. The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance way. Hence the word threshold.
(And you thought this was a stupid blog, didn't you?)
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could bring home the bacon. They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the "upper crust."
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.
Now you know where some of our customs and sayings come from!
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