Monday 7/19/2010

Is the NAACP or the New Black Panther Party Racists?

According to one minister, they are. “When they both become ‘Equal Opportunity Employers’ then we can say no!” Exclaims Reverend Rex Z. Terd, leader of the What’s So Wrong About Having Faith Church in Midget Falls, ND. Reverend Terd also said, “When they blast the Tea Party for being racists and bigots, and at the same time some of their member are calling for the black community to kill ‘krackers and their kracker babies,’ you know there is a double standard at work. So when The Congressional Black Caucus will allow Whites, Hispanics and Asians in their midst, and the NAACP and The Black Panthers allow Whites, Hispanics and Asians in their midst, then I’ll believe they are being non-racists!”
He continued by saying, “I have 254 members of a congregation who are of multi-ethnic backgrounds. We all believe in God! If the NAACP and the Black Panthers believe in God, then they should believe that no color is better than anyone other color! Everyone is equal in God’s eyes... Except the French! They just plain suck!”

Muslim Mother Free to Kill More of Her Children?

A Canadian judge's decision to free a devout Muslim mother convicted of strangling her 14-year-old daughter with a head scarf has prompted outrage. The judge gave the mother a suspended sentence. The Judge of The Court of Queen's Bench Justice passed his judgement last October, stunning a national victims rights' group based in Toronto.

"I really strongly disagree," said a spokesperson for the Canadian Crime Victims Foundation. "It sends a message to the rest of the community and the world that her daughter's life was valueless.”

The Muslim mother was acquitted in October of last year of second-degree murder and found her guilty of manslaughter in the death of her 14-year-old daughter. The judge placed her on three years probation along with several conditions, including taking grief counseling, depression and anger management classes, and not killing any of her other children for at least two years.

When asked what she planned on doing after being set free, she said, “I’m going to Disney World! There, I can kill other infidel children and ride Space Mountain!”

Children Nearly Arrested for Praying

A group of Christian students was ordered to stop praying outside the U.S. Supreme Court building on May 5 because a court police officer told them it was against the law.

The junior high school students were a part of the American History class at Wickenburg Christian Academy in Arizona. After taking pictures on the steps of the Supreme Court building, their teacher gathered them to a location near the side of the building, where after forming a circle they began to pray.

According to the report, a police officer interrupted the prayer and ordered the group to cease and desist. They were told to stop praying because they were violating the law and they had to take their prayer elsewhere, otherwise they would be arrested for being Anti-American Religious Nutbags and America didn’t need their kind anywhere in Washington!

“The Marshal of the Court will look into the alleged event. But I can assure you that the Court does not have a policy prohibiting prayer,” This according to a Supreme Court Spokesperson. “The officer must have confused law with his own political views on religion!”

Finally, the group of 15 students and seven adults left the Supreme Court and relocated to a sidewalk – where they continued their prayer. As they did so, a group of Atheists came up and beat the crap out of them.
The groups of praying students and teachers, beaten into unconsciousness, was quickly arrested for loitering and will be sentenced sometime next week.


Oil Spill Fix Looks Promising

NEW ORLEANS -- It only took 88 days, several millions of gallons of oil and the ruination of the gulf of Mexico for perhaps decades to come, but British Petroleum (BP) said its capped-off well appeared to be holding steady as of last Friday morning. Currently, there are two underwater robots scouring the sea floor looking for signs of new leaks.

Also, President Obama said BP's capping of the spill was "good news."

On a related note, BP is said to be considering opening the first ‘Open Water Oil Change Service Station’ in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico. Spokesperson Melika Oilybeach said then since there is so much oil in the gulf now, it would be very cost effect to build the new facility there, and could change the oil in millions of cars, trucks, vans SUV’s and fishing vessels that come by. Of course, in order to get to the ‘Open Water’ facility, folks would have to load upon a barge, spend the bulk of the day on the gulf to get to the facility, but that BP could offer coupons and specials to offset the inconvenience to their customers.