Tuesday 7/20/2010

So-called Comedian’s Unfunny Joke

Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown slammed non-funny comedian Kathy Griffin for making a crude joke about his two daughters last week.

Griffin, star of “My Life on the D List” made the comments on the Bravo network Tuesday night. The segment features Griffin being shown a photograph of Brown by two CNN reporters. Griffin identifies Brown in the picture, saying, “Scott Brown, who is a senator from Massachusetts and has two daughters that are prostitutes.” The CNN reporters erupted in laughter at Griffin’s comment.

But Brown isn’t laughing. Instead, he is blasting Griffin and Bravo for the segment. “People can call me any name they want, but families are off limits!" He said in the statement made through spokesperson.. "Kathy Griffin and Bravo ought to be ashamed of themselves.”

At the end of the clip, Griffin runs a disclaimer “from Bravo’s legal team,” saying the girls are not, in fact, “prostitutes.”

Griffin also insults former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin in the segment, saying “Remember when the Republican’s tried to get that nutbag Sarah Palin to sound credible before the vice presidential debates? They had a board and ran flash cards to teach her the tough stuff, like there is both a North and South Korea. Well, that’s sort of like what they (the reporters from CNN) did for me.”

Ms. Griffin, the terminally unfunny comedian, can be seen in an upcoming Bravo Special, entitled: My Life as an Annoying Bitch!


Embarrassing iPhone calls bring complaints from customers

Just when you think technology can’t get any better, here comes the iPhone 4. The latest craze for the “Wired” generation. The apps alone are mind boggling. But there are a few small problems, even with the “Perfect Phone.”


If you touch it around the middle area (the metal ring built into the Phone) the signal is lessened; if you move it, you can drop calls and lose data streams. Apple is currently offering a bumper case to remedy the interference and save face.

But the kicker is that it can randomly call old girlfriends/boyfriends from your past without your knowledge.

“I know first hand what kind of embarrassment this can cause,” says Billy Hordogg of West Virginia. “I was driving down the road, just minding my own business, when all of a sudden my old high school girlfriend, Ivana Grabudinkie, was shouting at me for daring to call her after I had dumped her for some other tramp back in high school twenty years before.”

This is not uncommon.

Betty Beddwedder of Oregon said, “My iPhone 4 accidentally called The New Life Church and called them all sorts of hateful things, then started uploading images of me naked to the pastor. I was so embarrassed!”

A spokesperson with Apple, Connie Ewetospendmormonet, said that there have been but a few complaints, mostly with software issues. “We are currently rethinking how we, as a company, will be able to create a new app to fix these small problems and make millions in the process!”

But one over-the-road trucker, Willie Haulinarse, isn’t very happy. “My new iPhone 4 called my dispatcher, told him I never wanted to work for his company again, and now I’m stranded in the middle of South Dakota, surrounded by miles and miles of...” The call suddenly dropped.

Weight and Memory Loss Linked

If you are a middle-aged women who also happens to be overweight, then you might just have another reason to take off those excess pounds: The more a postmenopausal woman weighs, the worse her memory is, researchers have announced..

The negative impact on memory was more pronounced in "pear-shaped" women who carry excess weight around their hips, and less of a factor in "apple-shaped" women who carry it around their waists, the study also noted.

When asked about this, overweight women were of mixed feelings.

Wilma Largtush of Hooter Heights said, “You know, I really don’t care what the studies show, I am... What were we talking about again?”
Georgia Onmamind agreed. “Yeah, What she said!”

The two women later went to Greasy Louie’s House of Mostly Pancakes and had lunch.