The Curious Urinal Wednesday 9/29/2010

Autoworkers Caught Drinking Beer, Smoking Pot During Breaks

Here's a story that will make you proud that we bailed out the auto industry. An undercover investigation shows illegal activities by Chrysler employees, who happened have enjoyed nearly $15 billion in government bailout money.

Several dozen autoworkers in Detroit were caught on camera drinking beer and smoking marijuana before heading to work at the Chrysler plant that President Obama praised in a speech just two months ago.

The exclusive investigation done by MyFoxDetroit showed workers at Chrysler's Jefferson North Assembly Plant in Detroit, Mich., drinking beer and smoking joints while on a half-hour lunch break at a nearby park.

The investigation was conducted over several weeks and based on tips from other workers at the plant. This apparently outraged the auto giant's top union representatives, who said, "This is totally unacceptable. How dare the media investigate our hard-working employees. What the employees do in their off-time is nobody's business!"

Back on July 30th, President Obama spoke at the plant, where he lauded the American worker, saying, "It's workers like you that built this country into the greatest economic power the world has ever known. And I want all of you to know, I will bet on the American worker any day of the week." He went on to say, "Especially if the union bosses tell me to say that!"

Local Elementary School Excels in Pretesting

Students here in Ammo County are all preparing for this years TAKS tests. And Buzzardbait students are especially prepared this year; all thanks to one teacher. Miss Anita Fuzzenbush is a highly regarded forth grade teacher at Buzzardbait Elementary School and Flea Market..

In an effort to prepare her students for the all-important TAKS test, she compiled an exam consisting of 20 questions, which she administered to her class last Friday. The exam purposely covered a broad array of topics, ranging from Arithmetic to Social Studies.

Here's a sample question posed to the students:

LIST THE FOUR SEASONS:

1. ________ 2. ________ 3.________ 4. ________

75% of the students gave the following answer?

1. SQUIRREL SEASON
2. DEER SEASON
3. TOBACCO-FLAVORED CUMQUAT SEASON
4. BASKETBALL SEASON

Yes, Buzzardbait students are the best Ammo County has to offer!