The Curious Urinal Tuesday 10/5/2010

New Company Offers Playdates... For a Price

With all the buzz these days about social networks and casual games taking video gaming mainstream, sometimes the market proves that there is still a powerful core demographic of lonely male geeks clicking away at controllers.

The newly relaunched website Gamecrush is banking on that demographic -- not just on guys' love of video games, but also on their inability to meet women. They offer geeky gamers the chance to find a comely companion for games ranging from Halo: Reach and Starcraft 2 to Tic-Tac-Toe.

They've just got to pay.

Female company doesn't come cheap, and Gamecrush's services run 60 cents a minute, plus tip. When "players" sign onto the site, they can search the profiles of "playdates" in four zones: "Arcade" for casual games, "The Academy" for gamers looking to learn some new tricks, "the Arena" for hardcore gaming, and "The Edge," where things "could get interesting."

Local gamer and self-proclaimed geekaziod, Randy Olgeme, has used the gaming site and claims it's a winner. "The girls I played with really liked me. Of course, they think I'm some rich astronaut that will take them to the moon."

In speaking with one of the 'girls' of the site, she told a similar story. "The guys really like me. Little do they know I'm really a guy named Larry, who likes to dress in drag and have cybersex on the gamesite for sixty cents a minute. Hell, I would charge more, but most of these losers couldn't afford me!"

In local news:

Ammo County pays $250,000 to advertise lack of funds

Mayor Harley Werken of Buzzardbait shook his head in disgust yesterday when he read the report from the Ammo County Department of Stuff. It told the tale of how County Commissioner Hugo Oberdare has misused county funds to advertise the fact that the county was out of money.

“This proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Ammo County needs to do something drastic to keep tax dollars flowing in, not pouring out. Since most of the residents of Ammo County are either employed by the county, or receiving funds from the county, this report shows me that something may be wrong here!” Mayor Werken then added, “Maybe if we stopped spending $250,000 on advertising, we could spend more on stocking the bar in the mayor's office!”