Thursday, October 7, 2010

The Curious Urinal Thursday 10/7/2010

CBS Reporter Arrested on Drug Charges

A CBS Radio News correspondent, Howard Arenstein, has been arrested on marijuana charges in Washington.

A D.C. police spokesman said Arenstein and his wife were arrested early last Saturday and were charged with possession with intent to distribute marijuana.
We got some complaints that there was marijuana growing in the couple's backyard. We then obtained a search warrant for the home and busted them." The officer said, wishing to remain anonymous for fear that the media would rip into him and his family, went on to say, "We found large, mature cannabis plants, standing more than 8 feet high. In addition, we found packaged marijuana inside the home."

According to the CBS News website, Arenstein serves as radio bureau manager for CBS News, Washington.

A CBS News spokeswoman, who wished to remain anonymous in fear that she'd be discovered as a right-wing conspirator, said, "The network is not making any statements at this time, but as for myself, Dude, I'm so bummed! Now I have to find a new dealer. Do you know how hard it is to score some decent weed in Washington. First the senators aide gets busted, now this! Damn, I may need to go to L.A. to score some good smoke... Unless you got some?"

In Other Political News:

Transgendered 'Conservative' in San Francisco Race

In the Only in California Department - A transgendered woman, who used to run a sex toy company called Good Vibrations, is being labeled as the "conservative" candidate in a San Francisco political race.

The San Fransisco Weekly reports that Theresa Sparks, who is running for a seat on the city's Board of Supervisors, is being criticized as the insider, conservative pick.

Sparks is being backed by San Fransisco's Mayor. Sparks also held a seat on the city's Police Commission. She allegedly drifts "conservative" because she opposes a hotel tax and declining to put pressure on the city's police officers while serving on the disciplinary panel.

Sparks said, "This points to how people in this city love to construe and redefine the term 'progressive,'"

According to Sparks' personal website, she was born a man but eventually changed her appearance to look like a woman after two marriages -- to women -- ended in divorce. "I decided that since I wasn't much of a man, I'd become a woman. And now the chicks dig me!"

And in Local News:

Federal Study: Fish Need Water

According to an $80 million dollar study (funded by taxpayer dollars), The University of Buzzardbait has determined that unless fish are kept in water, they will die. This study, conducted over the course of six years also concluded that dead fish are not as active as live ones.

Professor Sir Cedric Bentingmore, formerly of the British Institute of All Things Uncommon, said, "These studies prove that more money should be spent on academia's pursuit of all things wasteful and frivolous!"


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