Buzzardbait Hosts Major Concert
Somehow you might think that Buzzardbait wouldn’t draw major touring bands, but something strange happened, and the Buzzardbaitapalooza Concert at the Buzzardbait Fairgrounds and Mud Bog Last became a reality last night.
Lousyville was to have put on this major show, but at the last minute, fresh from being told that the concert was to be cancelled due to budgetary problems (lack of ticket sales), the Lousyville Fairgrounds booted the bands to the curb in favor of holding an Extreme Skateboard Competition.
So, the bands and their managers were about to pull up stakes and head out of Lousyville when Ammo County Road Commissioner Oliver Closoff (who was at the Lousyville Fairgrounds on business at the time) suggested that the bands follow him to Buzzardbait. He happened to know that nothing was going on at the Buzzardbait Fairgrounds and Mud Bog last night, and the bands could perform there.
And the rest, as they say, was history.
The concert was promoted on Buzzardbait Radio station, WBZZ. Local DJ and gas station attendant, Ben Gleck, began announcing the big show on his afternoon drive-time show, ‘The Ben Gleck Program.’ By the time the show was over, the crowd has already began flocking to the Fairgrounds and Mud Bog awaiting the beginning of Buzzardbaitapalooza.
Finally, the stage was set up and the lights went off. The crowd began cheering (someone mentioned free Schitts Beer and that made them cheer even louder) when Oliver Closoff stepped on stage and declared Buzzardbaitapalooza was officially beginning. He then proceeded to introduce the opening band.
The opening act, Harry Derriere and the Hirsute Hound Dogs, put on a ear-bleeding 45 minute set that was full of energy. With the band playing their complete repertoire in 30 minutes, they began playing other peoples music, some of which the crowd actually had heard of.
After their set ended and the stage reset for the next act, Oliver Closoff returned to the stage and issued the statement that Schitts Beer was going to be given away for free, but it would cost $5 for each of the tickets to obtain the free beer, limit one ticket per beer. The crowd immediately moved to the ticket window and shelled out the money for the free beer tickets. An estimated 4,500 tickets were purchased by the 300 people attending the show.
As the crowd drank and began loosening up, Oliver closoff introduced the next act. When Sammy Shagnasty and the Naked Molekats stepped up on stage, the crowd went wild. Sammy and the band, who have appeared in Buzzardbait on numerous occasions, put on their usual show. As usual, Sammy’s singing was off-key, and the band was a beat behind the drummer (who looked to be so stoned that he was propped up on the drummers throne with a broom handle). Other than that, the show was pretty much their standard fare. They played both of their hits, and most of the other songs that have filled their five CD’s (which can be found at Buzzardbait Music Store and Instrument Rentals, located at 5th and Main in downtown Buzzardbait).
Their hour long set ended on a high note as Sammy mooned the audience and declared herself the Queen of Rock n Roll. Then she proceeded to jump off of the stage into the crowd. Apparently the crowd wasn’t aware that they were to catch her and do the mosh pit thing. They let her drop to the ground like a brick. The good news is that she will be out of the hospital by tomorrow, but the broken bones will postpone the remainder of their North American Tour of Central Kentucky for several weeks.
Next up was a veteran rock warriors, Tarnished Plastic. Their heavy metal show was marred early on when half the light rigging dropped to the stage, crushing their keyboard player, Shorty Long. After the lights were hoisted back into place, and Shorty was checked out by the local EMT’s, the show went on. Shorty, grimacing in pain and bleeding profusely for most of the remainder of the show, managed to show off his talents at the keyboards by playing chopsticks with his nose while pulling out a piece of twisted metal from his head. Afterwards, he was bandaged up and autographed the metal fragment, tossing it out to an adoring fan.
After the stage was reset, the next act was introduced. Peter Pimple and The Zits haven’t toured in several years, but are currently in the midst of a reunion tour. Peter Pimple, who looks to be in his late 60's, screamed out that he was ready to rock and roll. No sooner than he said that, the band woke up and began playing. The Zits, all of whom also look to be in their late 60's, managed to rock the crowd until the bass players angina began acting up. The lead guitarist, who has severe arthritis, had to stop several time during his guitar solo to take some pain meds. The drummer, who looked every bit as healthy as the rest of the band, had to stop several times during the set to go to the bathroom. Peter Pimple, who no longer has acne but his face is severely disfigured by the scarring, huffed and said that he was kind of tired and needed a nap. The fifteen minute set wrapped up when Peter Pimple and the Zits rode off the stage on their Hover-Rounds.
And that left one last act. And he is also no stranger to Buzzardbait’s music scene.
Milo Days walked on stage to the delight of the cheering crowd and proceeded to guzzle a fifth of Dingleberry Wine before playing a note. He started his set with his signature song, ‘Dat Girl has Got’s Some Fine Breastessess Blues.’ After the first song, he drank another fifth of wine. In fact, in between each song he played, he chugged another fifth of Dingleberry Wine. After his fourth song, ‘I’s be Peeping Thru da Hole in da Wall Blues’ Milo passed out. He was carried offstage and the lights went up.
And with that, Buzzardbaitapalooza ended. Oliver Closoff, who made it all possible, was said to be thinking about retiring from the County Road Commissioner post and going into concert promotions. After witnessing this wonderful show, he may have a future in it too!
Somehow you might think that Buzzardbait wouldn’t draw major touring bands, but something strange happened, and the Buzzardbaitapalooza Concert at the Buzzardbait Fairgrounds and Mud Bog Last became a reality last night.
Lousyville was to have put on this major show, but at the last minute, fresh from being told that the concert was to be cancelled due to budgetary problems (lack of ticket sales), the Lousyville Fairgrounds booted the bands to the curb in favor of holding an Extreme Skateboard Competition.
So, the bands and their managers were about to pull up stakes and head out of Lousyville when Ammo County Road Commissioner Oliver Closoff (who was at the Lousyville Fairgrounds on business at the time) suggested that the bands follow him to Buzzardbait. He happened to know that nothing was going on at the Buzzardbait Fairgrounds and Mud Bog last night, and the bands could perform there.
And the rest, as they say, was history.
The concert was promoted on Buzzardbait Radio station, WBZZ. Local DJ and gas station attendant, Ben Gleck, began announcing the big show on his afternoon drive-time show, ‘The Ben Gleck Program.’ By the time the show was over, the crowd has already began flocking to the Fairgrounds and Mud Bog awaiting the beginning of Buzzardbaitapalooza.
Finally, the stage was set up and the lights went off. The crowd began cheering (someone mentioned free Schitts Beer and that made them cheer even louder) when Oliver Closoff stepped on stage and declared Buzzardbaitapalooza was officially beginning. He then proceeded to introduce the opening band.
The opening act, Harry Derriere and the Hirsute Hound Dogs, put on a ear-bleeding 45 minute set that was full of energy. With the band playing their complete repertoire in 30 minutes, they began playing other peoples music, some of which the crowd actually had heard of.
After their set ended and the stage reset for the next act, Oliver Closoff returned to the stage and issued the statement that Schitts Beer was going to be given away for free, but it would cost $5 for each of the tickets to obtain the free beer, limit one ticket per beer. The crowd immediately moved to the ticket window and shelled out the money for the free beer tickets. An estimated 4,500 tickets were purchased by the 300 people attending the show.
As the crowd drank and began loosening up, Oliver closoff introduced the next act. When Sammy Shagnasty and the Naked Molekats stepped up on stage, the crowd went wild. Sammy and the band, who have appeared in Buzzardbait on numerous occasions, put on their usual show. As usual, Sammy’s singing was off-key, and the band was a beat behind the drummer (who looked to be so stoned that he was propped up on the drummers throne with a broom handle). Other than that, the show was pretty much their standard fare. They played both of their hits, and most of the other songs that have filled their five CD’s (which can be found at Buzzardbait Music Store and Instrument Rentals, located at 5th and Main in downtown Buzzardbait).
Their hour long set ended on a high note as Sammy mooned the audience and declared herself the Queen of Rock n Roll. Then she proceeded to jump off of the stage into the crowd. Apparently the crowd wasn’t aware that they were to catch her and do the mosh pit thing. They let her drop to the ground like a brick. The good news is that she will be out of the hospital by tomorrow, but the broken bones will postpone the remainder of their North American Tour of Central Kentucky for several weeks.
Next up was a veteran rock warriors, Tarnished Plastic. Their heavy metal show was marred early on when half the light rigging dropped to the stage, crushing their keyboard player, Shorty Long. After the lights were hoisted back into place, and Shorty was checked out by the local EMT’s, the show went on. Shorty, grimacing in pain and bleeding profusely for most of the remainder of the show, managed to show off his talents at the keyboards by playing chopsticks with his nose while pulling out a piece of twisted metal from his head. Afterwards, he was bandaged up and autographed the metal fragment, tossing it out to an adoring fan.
After the stage was reset, the next act was introduced. Peter Pimple and The Zits haven’t toured in several years, but are currently in the midst of a reunion tour. Peter Pimple, who looks to be in his late 60's, screamed out that he was ready to rock and roll. No sooner than he said that, the band woke up and began playing. The Zits, all of whom also look to be in their late 60's, managed to rock the crowd until the bass players angina began acting up. The lead guitarist, who has severe arthritis, had to stop several time during his guitar solo to take some pain meds. The drummer, who looked every bit as healthy as the rest of the band, had to stop several times during the set to go to the bathroom. Peter Pimple, who no longer has acne but his face is severely disfigured by the scarring, huffed and said that he was kind of tired and needed a nap. The fifteen minute set wrapped up when Peter Pimple and the Zits rode off the stage on their Hover-Rounds.
And that left one last act. And he is also no stranger to Buzzardbait’s music scene.
Milo Days walked on stage to the delight of the cheering crowd and proceeded to guzzle a fifth of Dingleberry Wine before playing a note. He started his set with his signature song, ‘Dat Girl has Got’s Some Fine Breastessess Blues.’ After the first song, he drank another fifth of wine. In fact, in between each song he played, he chugged another fifth of Dingleberry Wine. After his fourth song, ‘I’s be Peeping Thru da Hole in da Wall Blues’ Milo passed out. He was carried offstage and the lights went up.
And with that, Buzzardbaitapalooza ended. Oliver Closoff, who made it all possible, was said to be thinking about retiring from the County Road Commissioner post and going into concert promotions. After witnessing this wonderful show, he may have a future in it too!
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