The Curious Urinal Monday 12/24/2012

Carrying on that fine Christmas tradition, here is a treat for all of you...

The Naughty Night Before Christmas

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'Twas the night before Xmas and all through the house
The whole damn family was drunk as a louse

The stockings were hung by the chimney askew

While Grandma and Grandpa were having a screw

Ma, home from the cat house, and me out of jail
Had just crawled into bed for a nice piece of tail
When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter
I jumped out of bed to see what was the matter

Away to the window I flew like a flash
I slipped on a rubber and fell on my ass
The moon on the crest of the new fallen snow
Gave a whore-house-like luster to the objects below

When what to my blood shot eyes should appear
But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer
With a little old driver, who looked drunk and sick

I knew in a moment, it must be Saint Nick

Slower than snails his reindeer they came
He bitched and he swore as he called them by name
On Dancer,on Prancer, up over the walls
Hurry up, dammit, or I'll cut off your balls.

Then up to the roof he stumbled and fell
And came down the chimney like a bat out of hell

He opened his bag and tossed out some gifts
Then he bent over and heard his pants rip

I heard him exclaim, as he rode out of sight:
Merry Christmas to all, damn what a night.

MERRY CHRISTMAS 

FROM 

THE CURIOUS URINAL